Remove some anxiety…without counseling.
Knowing the true source of anxiety… helps with the construct of the cure.
A few months ago, a gentleman contacted me about the intensity of the anxiety he was feeling. He was 50 years of age, married, lived with his wife of 30 years, an Afghanistan War veteran, and currently employed as a mechanic. He was awakening with tension, and the tension increased throughout the day. It was difficult for him to focus, his muscles were always stiff, noise was very annoying, and he was constantly exhausted. As I listened to his symptoms, I started leaning towards PTSD due to his many tours during the war. However, he disagreed and conveyed that none of his experiences during his tour produced trauma. This did not eliminate my suspicion, so I set it aside until it was the only element remaining. I asked about his marriage, and he explained it was a wonderful association with mutual support and love. I then inquired about his job as a mechanic. His response was a bit more revealing. He enjoyed being a mechanic, but the sounds were constantly agitating to him. The yelling from various mechanics to one another across the work area, the sounds of tools being dropped, the high pitch of power tools – this was non-stop throughout the day, and it was making him feel irritable. I then asked about his routine when he left work. He explained that the drive home was relaxing. He would flow with the traffic, he was not in a hurry, and he would listen to relaxing music. Even though he was providing information of what could be causing the high anxiety, the lack of a specific cause for the anxiety was slowly directing me towards the culprit. I asked him to further explain his routine upon arriving home. He said that it was the same routine every night, which included eating dinner with his wife, while watching Jeopardy. Upon finishing dinner, he would place his head on his wife’s lap and nap until it was bedtime, and his wife would continue to watch TV. It was at this point I felt I knew the reason for the deepened anxiety.
I suggested to him that upon finishing dinner, take his plate into the kitchen, get cleaned up for bed and go to the bedroom and read, listen to non-lyrical music or just go to sleep – but to avoid taking a nap on the sofa while his wife was watching TV. He explained that sometimes his wife would come to bed while he was sleeping and turn on the TV and watch shows until she became sleepy. I suggested that she remain in another room watching TV while waiting for sleep. I also conveyed that if he did what I suggested, within two weeks the deepened anxiety and tension would be gone. He looked at me with a very doubtful expression, scheduled his next appointment two weeks away and left.
He returned two weeks later for his appointment and had an expressionless face. I grinned and asked about the anxiety. He didn’t need to say a word. His eyes were more relaxed, his hands were not trembling, and his facial muscles did not convey exhaustion. When he confirmed, as he smiled, that the anxiety was gone – he asked about the reason for the quick transition to calmness.
This is what was happening within the gentleman: Upon finishing dinner, when he would place his head on his wife’s lap and slip into sleep, the conscious mind went into a mode where the brain is not alert and processing. During this time, the subconscious part of the mind starts receiving information without the protective filter blocking unnecessary information - so the content of the shows being heard was being embedded in the subconscious. While watching Jeopardy, the gentleman would hear clapping and conversation, which was not so annoying. However, after Jeopardy, his wife would typically watch reality TV and crime shows. The music and content of these shows were starting to build and create a level of discomfort within the subconscious. The discomfort intensified during the day due to the correlating sounds at work, which was very similar to the Realty TV shows. The mind was trying to cleanse itself of the anxiousness, but the irritating sounds from work and the nightly shows were reinforcing the external information every night, thus creating an internal chaos. Giving consideration to Classical Conditioning, developed by Pavlov, by removing the reinforcement, the mind started to eliminate the unwanted mental residue – of which it is designed to do while asleep.
Give some thought to what you watch or listen to before going to sleep or upon taking a nap. How about your kids and their video games just before you give the order that it is bedtime? Interestingly, all the images that the mind has viewed and the sounds the mind has received while playing video games or watching TV remain in the mind for at least an hour after turning off the devices. This means if sleep immediately follows when turning off media devices, the content is still entering the mind, and will do so for another hour. If your child is agitated during the day for no known reason – this could easily be the reason.
To help avoid media related anxiety, turn off all electronics one-hour before going to bed. I think you will be fascinated with the difference it produces with the quality of your life or a loved one’s life.
For more information or if you would like to schedule a session to discuss your concerns, go to the scheduling page at www.TheVirtualCounselingCenter.com and reserve a time.
